Searching for Meaning

We all have a purpose. Throughout my life, I have often wondered why things happen the way they do. I have asked the Lord many times, “Why?” I questioned why life can be so difficult. In moments of deep pain, through tears, I have pleaded for relief, wondering when the suffering would finally end.

Enduring Hardship

My suffering began when I was a toddler and seemed to follow me through most of my days. As I moved through life, I kept questioning the reasons for my pain. There were moments when I wondered if something from a previous life had caused me to endure so much hardship.

Over the years, I faced many forms of adversity. I experienced discrimination, mental abuse, physical pain, emotional turmoil, and even wounds I caused myself. Those experiences chipped away at my self-worth until I had no sense of self-love. I drifted through life in a haze, getting by but not truly living. Even in my darkest moments, I prayed and kept pushing forward, always wondering when the suffering would stop.

A Turning Point

There came a day when I reached the end of my strength and told the Lord, “Father, I give up. I leave it all in Your hands.” My circumstances did not suddenly improve. In fact, I came close to a nervous breakdown. Even then, I found the will to keep fighting and to keep moving forward.

Then something unexpected happened. I met my husband in a place I could never have imagined for forming a meaningful relationship. It happened online while I was playing a game. At first, I was hesitant because he was white, and I had always believed I should support Black men. That was what I was taught growing up. My father had been clear, saying, “If you ever marry a white man, I will disown you.” God rest his soul.

Despite those beliefs, our online friendship grew. He sent me a webcam, and soon we spent almost all our free time together, sharing laughter and joy whenever I was not working. Our bond became so strong that he eventually traveled to California, and together we drove to his home in Louisiana. That journey marked the beginning of a new chapter. We have now been married for nearly fifteen years and have shared sixteen wonderful years together. My life was transformed, and I finally found happiness.

Discovering My Purpose

Even after finding happiness in my marriage and a new direction in life, I sensed that something was still missing. One night, I had a dream that revealed the beginning of my purpose. In the dream, I was speaking with a stranger. The stranger told me that my purpose was to help them see. I remember asking, “See what?” but before I could get an answer, I woke up.

The dream left me confused. For days, I wrestled with its meaning, wondering what I was supposed to help others see and who those people might be.

Driven by an inner calling, I began working on a legacy book for my children. It was a project I had never planned to write or publish. It took years to complete. When it was finished, I discovered I could publish it for free, so I did. But my journey did not end there.

I felt guided to create a website, something I had attempted before but found too difficult. This time, I stayed with it. Inspiration continued to flow, and with each step, I was supported by a powerful tool called Copilot, an artificial intelligence assistant.

The process of writing the book and building the website was not easy. It brought up difficult emotions, and there were many moments when the pain brought me to tears. Yet as I moved forward, clarity finally came. I realized what my purpose was and still is. My purpose is to help others see, just as my dream revealed.

Embracing My Purpose

Reflecting on my life, I have come to understand that every hardship, every moment of pain, and every injustice I endured was not without meaning. Every experience prepared me and shaped who I am today. Without those challenges, I would not have the stories or lessons I now share. My journey gave me the perspective and empathy to reach out and help others.

I believe each of us has a purpose. Some purposes may be similar, while others lead us on unique paths. Despite our differences, every person can make a positive impact. I encourage everyone to seek out their purpose and strive to make the world a better place. By embracing our individual journeys, we can inspire and uplift those around us.

A Message of Love and Strength

I do not call myself a Christian, but I am a practicing one. Throughout my journey, I have come to understand that the love guiding my path is greater than anything I could have imagined. It is a love stronger than all of us, a force that supports and uplifts me even in the most challenging moments.

A love so strong that, despite everything I have been through, I still love. I speak with a love greater than my own, greater than all of us.